Star Wars down the drain?

I

still have mixed feelings about the news that a new episode of Star Wars is being filmed these days.

I belong to the audience that in 1977 saw the first one (Episode IV, aka “A new hope”) when just under 18 years of age.

Can you imagine what that was like? It was an epic moment, a celebration of the most unimaginable things that we hoped we may, one day, be able to see.

We were completely and finally blown away by what we saw and from that day on (which was later than in the USA, because at the time I was living in Italy, where the movie premiered weeks later), I and some of my friends were completely sold to the adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia.

When six years later the end titles of Episode VI (aka “Return of the Jedi”) rolled over the silver screen, we knew that we were witnessing the end of an era. The world wasn’t going to be the same anymore. Well, the cinematographic world, that is (we had still a little reality sense left, if you know what I mean…).

Then LucasFilm © wanted to give us the “Pre-Sequel” episodes, which in itself is a terrible word to put together because a sequel is something that comes after something, while the prefix “Pre” indicates something that comes before something else (yes, the brightlighters among you have catched it!: even the word ‘prefix’ is one more example of the use of the prefix ‘pre’… Hurray for you! If I need to explain this once more, I’d better move to Tibet and teach Sanskrit to Yaks).

No matter the linguistic obscenity of the word, LucasFilm © gave us the Pre-Sequel Trilogy, which I must admit did not tickle my fancy that much.
Maybe because by that time I was quite a few years older, I dunno.
It just did not do it for me.

I distinctly remember that I fell asleep during Episode II (aka “Attack of the clones”) and never managed to see through the end of it, while I still can enjoy every time I watch one of the original episodes (a number larger than 5 and smaller than 20… guilty).

Even back then (2005) we were all at peace with the idea that Star Wars had reached its “natural death”, though everyone, in strict secret, hoped to see once more Han Solo embracing Princess Leia, while Luke Skywalker defends them with drawn light-saber, or the other way round: Luke embracing Leia and Han standing behind with a laser-gun or anything dangerous… it all depends what your preferences are in matters of brother-sister incest and stuff.

Well, disturbing images aside, the next really disturbing image that immediately popped into our minds, was one of the above scenes, but then with the actors as they look now, 40-odd years after they played in the original Trilogy.

OK, now female readers will start arguing with me that Harrison Ford will be sexy and good-looking until his last day on this earth.
Well, I dare to challenge that, because every time one of the aforementioned females will think about Mr. Ford, they will invariably think about him in his past days as Han Solo or Indiana Jones and fall in a swoon.

Which is by the way not very far from how we males will always think about Carrie Fisher as the Princess Leia chained to Jabba’s throne, wearing her slave outfit.

And Luke…? No idea.

Fact is that when the new episode (Episode VII, at the moment still without a full title) will roll out in the movie theaters worldwide (apparently some time around December 2015), we may be in for some surprises.

Try to picture a movie with the main characters that goes from THIS:

Han Solo (Harrison Ford A.D. 1977)
Han Solo (Harrison Ford A.D. 1977)

 

LS
Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill A.D. 1977)

 

PL
Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher A.D. 1977)

 

Into something played by actors who now look like THIS:

Harrison Ford A.D. 2014
Harrison Ford A.D. 2014

 

Mark Hamill A.D. 2014
Mark Hamill A.D. 2014

 

Carrie Fisher A.D. 2014
Carrie Fisher A.D. 2014

 

I’m not sure if we’ll be laughing or crying.

Then again, maybe the makers will have the decency to present them in the new story-line as their really old “versions”, making them appear even older than without the stage make-up.

I really hope so, though I’m not sure I want to see my heroes shuffling about in their golden days, fictional or real… EVER!

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